Riding out the “Holiday Blues”

20 Nov 2008 | 1st Lt. Michael Fischer

The holiday season is usually considered a time of happiness and tradition. It is a time when Santa, football and turkeys share a common theme of unity and family. 

However, for many military members and families the holidays are filled with empty seats at a table, unopened presents under a tree and the feeling of isolation from being away from loved ones and traditions. Understanding and recognizing the effects and causes of these holiday blues will help military and family members, during the holiday season, cope with these feelings. 

Stress is a normal part of the holidays. Everyone is rushing out to get that last minute gift for a loved one or trying to figure out how to see a patchwork collection of relatives scattered throughout various time zones. 

Preparation is the easiest way to limit holiday stress impact. When buying gifts, consider how much you can afford and how much the gift really means to the recipient. Does little Johnny really need the $100 Transformer Ninja Turtle with the kung-fu grip and water propelled life-like missile launcher? 

When visiting relatives, remember there are only so many hours in a day, regardless of how many time zones a person can cross. Prioritize and compromise when it comes to scheduling who to see and when. It may be hard not to see a certain loved one, but it may be harder to spend large amounts of time traveling, only to bounce around from relative to relative for a little bit at a time. A key thing to consider in both these situations is quality over quantity. 

Loneliness and isolation are common during the holidays, especially in military environments. Military families' and members' sacrifices are more apparent when they have to sort through the emotional pain and void left by having loved ones absent during important times and traditions.

Unfortunately, there is no cure-all pill or remedy to replace these feelings. Sometimes talking with the absent loved one can be just as painful as not having the person around. However by admitting, talking and exposing oneself to these feeling, the pain often becomes more tolerable. Often developing a schedule of call times can form a bandage until the loved one rejoins the family. The most important thing for everyone involved is to keep in contact, even if it by phone for a short time. 

Many people think depression and suicide increase dramatically during the holidays. While there are often more people report feeling depressed during the holidays, suicide does not increase. In fact, suicides drop during the winter months, according to the National Center for Health Statistics, and they usually peak during the spring months.
Two important things to remember is recognizing signs of depression/suicide potential and seeking help. 

One does not have to have large amounts of training to notice signs of depression or be concerned about suicide. The biggest clue someone may be at an increase risk for suicide, depression, or any emotional struggle is if a person behaves much differently than they usually do. For example, a usually outgoing Airman starts to isolate from friends and colleagues. This does not mean the Airman is necessarily suffering from depression or suicide, but the change of behavior could mean the Airman needs some help. 

Travis offers a variety of ways for people to get help dealing with emotional issues when they need it. The Mental Health clinic at David Grant USAF Medical Center, 423-5174, the Base Chapel, 424-3217 and the Military and Family Life Consultant, 424-2486 offer counseling and supportive services to active duty service members and their family members. 

Of course, there are options within a flight such as talking to colleagues, supervisors, first sergeants, and commanders. However, it is important to recognize and admit a person needs help. 

"Our hope is every person that needs help, understands help is available. We make every effort to keep your information private. Please don't wait until you are at rock bottom to ask for help," said Col.Frank Budd, 60th Medical Operations Squadron Mental Health flight commander. "As Dean Martin sang once, 'everybody needs somebody sometime.' 
Don't let pride, fear or loneliness control your actions or your Holiday." 

According to Colonel Budd, effective help is readily available. An attentive ear, sounding board or support system is only as far away as your cell phone by calling DGMC's Mental Health Flight at 423-5174. "We can help people feel a sense of hope that they can overcome the difficulties they are facing no matter how severe they seem at the time," Colonel Budd said. 

Not all battles fought in the Global War on Terrorism have noticeable casualties, because sometimes they are fought on an internal battlefield. The wounds inflicted are no less severe, life threatening, but sometimes the scars they leave are not noticeable until someone is almost past the point of help. 

For some, the holidays will be spent in harm's way of an insurgent attack while others battle stress and loneliness. However, it is important to remember to look out for a fellow wingman. Just like reindeer pulling a sleigh, wingman can help out each other so everyone can have an enjoyable holiday season.