Deployed service members cope with the stress of separation from pregnant spouses

10/15/2009 By Cpl. Triah Pendracki , Multi National Force - West

AL ASAD AIR BASE, Iraq

Deployment can be stressful for any service member, but Marines and sailors awaiting the birth of their children endure a different kind of stress.

“Finding out the day before we deployed, we realized all our plans would change,” explained Sgt. Jason Murrey, the detainee operations noncommissioned officer-in-charge at the staff judge advocate office for Multi National Force - West. “All the dynamics and planning up to that day went out the window, but we were excited.”

With the stress of pregnancy added to the already difficult separation of married couples during deployments, it becomes very important for Marines and sailors to communicate with their spouses and their chain of command.

“My leadership was more than helpful during the pregnancy,” said Murrey, whose wife recently gave birth to their second son. “Luckily I’m aboard Al Asad, so I have more opportunities to communicate with my wife than other service members.”

The Marines and sailors deployed to larger bases like Al Asad have more outlets for communication. Whether it’s via email, phone calls, or video teleconferences, the military commands do their best to facilitate all deployed service members with communication to their families.

“I actually got to see the birth of my son using Freedom Calls,” explained Murrey. “I went to the Morale Welfare Recreation center on base and they set me up.”

Although Murrey, with the help of modern technology, was able to see his wife give birth to their child, others occasionally have the opportunity to schedule their leave to coincide with their wives’ delivery date.

“I was on my two weeks leave when my son was born,” said Hospital Corpsman Ryan McAbee, a corpsman with II Marine Expeditionary Force Headquarters Group (Forward). “Once I held [my son] in my arms, my world and perspective on everything changed. It was a very humbling experience to say the least.”

McAbee was very grateful to his own chain of command for their help during his stressful time.

“They actually made sure that I had an extra week of leave because of some logistical complications,” he said. “In the end, saying goodbye to my son was hard, but we have a mission to complete out here. Soon we’ll all be home though.”

Although being a spouse of a service member who is deployed half way around the world can be tough, it doesn’t have to be endured alone. The Military offers several programs and groups to help spouses of deployed service members cope with the stress of separation from their loved ones.

“My wife is the strongest woman I know for all that she’s been through with this deployment,” said McAbee.

“We have a very strong family support network that is helping my wife while I’m not there. I’m thankful for that. I have to remember to change my role when I come home,” Murrey added. “It’s time to be ‘dad’ again and take the reins from my wife, who’s been running the family with me gone.”

Whether these service members are going home in weeks or months, they know they have a new addition to their family welcoming them home with tiny grins.

AL ASAD AIR BASE, Iraq-Hospital Corpsman Ryan McAbee, a corpsman with II Marine Expeditionary Force Headquarters Group (Forward), practices basic medical procedues during a training session on a fellow corpsman aboard Al Asad Air Base, Iraq, September 25, 2009. McAbee is one of many service members seperated from their spouses during deployment., Cpl. Triah Pendracki, 9/25/2009 3:51 PM
AL ASAD AIR BASE, Iraq-Hospital Corpsman Ryan McAbee, a corpsman with II Marine Expeditionary Force Headquarters Group (Forward), stands next to photos of his new-born son. McAbee is one of many service members seperated from their spouses during deployment., Cpl. Triah Pendracki, 9/25/2009 3:52 PM