MARINE CORPS BASE CAMP PENDLETON, Calif. -- As most Marines draw near the end of their first enlistment, the question is often asked: “Should I stay in?”
Once I entered the fleet to begin my career in the Corps four years ago, I loathed going to work, and being around Marines annoyed me.
Not being able to tell a superior how I really felt, or what I thought, caused my initial dislike of the Marine Corps. I hated not being able to make my own decisions.
Before joining the Marine Corps, I lived on my own. I made my own decisions and lived life as I pleased. It seemed stupid that, as an adult, I was told what to do and how to do it.
The recruiter is to blame, I thought. I blamed him because he painted a picture in my head and I did not see it that way. I felt taken advantage of and was paying the consequences of falling for his lies.
These issues affected my work ethics and personality for the worse, which made me feel less than the Marine I knew I could be.
My section’s command was in transition during the early part of my enlistment. Unbeknownst to me at the time, it was for the best.
The new leadership was instrumental in my growth both as a Marine and as an individual.
One of my first big growing experiences in the fleet was graduating Corporal's Course and noticing the junior Marines looking up to me. Throughout my years, I have come to realize that there is a process of gaining respect from others. It was not an easy task. I learned that respect is earned, not given.
Sometimes I wanted to give up and just go through the motions each day as if it was a race to Aug. 27, 2010, my of end active service date. The noncommissioned officers in my shop saw differently. Instead of giving up on me, they pushed me. I now know they pushed me because they saw my potential. They encouraged me to challenge myself and not to fall short of a goal.
As I began positively adjusting to the Marine Corps, I noticed a drastic change in my opinion of the Corps. Maybe my opinion changed because I was a different person. I was no longer the young woman who was afraid to speak up for herself or for others.
I first believed the Corps took away my independence, but on the contrary, made me more independent. I started leading others and with that, realized that I became a stronger individual.
A few months after being promoted to corporal, I remember being asked by one of my NCOs’, “So now that you picked up, do you wanna stay in?”
When asked that question in the past, my answer was always an emphatic no. On that day, to my surprise, I did not have an answer.
My original plan was to get out and become a full time college student.
For the first time I asked myself, “Do I want to stay in?”
I did a lot of thinking and self reflection over the next few months. Reenlisting was something I would have to live with for the next four years and the pros and cons for making this decision were dead even. It was not an easy choice to make.
I examined my fears and reasons for staying in against my fears and reasons not to stay in.
I came to the conclusion that regardless of my decision, it will be a life changing experience on which I will grow to become a better person.
I now realize what was once a race to my EAS has now become a journey towards self growth and a positive future. I look forward to the next four years of my life and who knows where this journey may take me.