What does she mean?

14 Oct 2009 | Chaplain (Maj.) Dwight Magnus

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes." 

He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?" 

Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it? 

Trying to figure out where my wife is coming from isn't easy, and I know it will be a lifelong journey...a very rewarding journey. Here's a couple of things I have found in dealing with my wife that has helped me deepen our relationship. · Many times when my wife is sharing a problem she is having, I immediately shift into "fix it" mode, and start peppering her with questions and possible solutions. There might be a need for that later, but not right away. I turn off the TV, focus on her, and try to listen for and respond to the emotions she expresses, many times not saying a word. 

· I tell her "I love you" many times a day, and don't just think she'll know that already. I reaffirm my commitment to her and our marriage regularly, especially after a conflict. 

· When I mess up, I am quick to ask forgiveness, though she sees right through an insincere apology. When she messes up, I am quick to forgive. Okay, MOST times I am quick to forgive. But we try to clear up any issues within 24 hours. 

· Security to her is more than financial. It includes intimacy, spending time together, being best friends, and being involved in 

· When I get confused about what she is thinking or doing, I pray! Then I give her every benefit of the doubt. Then I talk to her about it. Above all, I trust her completely. 

Communication in marriage is hard work, but it is definitely worth it. Don't give up!